When I first thought to blog about David and my New York experiences, I was skeptical to do so because I just knew I wouldn't keep it up. I would leave you guys hanging, thinking, this isn't worth checking back with because I am sure Kate hasn't posted anything new recently. Not that any of you are thinking that... well, maybe Sally and Amy.
But here I am, here we are, and it has been weeks since I last made a post, minus the one I threw together about the Statue of Liberty. It isn't as if I don't have a multitude of experiences to share, it isn't as if I haven't taken photos. The thing is, I am no good at just throwing "something" together, I don't feel it does our experiences justice, nor is it fair to you guys. I was unsatisfied with the Lady Liberty post. I had so much to say, but I didn't take the time to articulate, I was feeling the "pressure" to get a blog posted. The actual truth? Some of you will be surprised at what I am about to say, so brace yourself:
I am a bit of a perfectionist.
Now, many of you who know me and have seen me in action; looking for my keys or wallet at the bottom of my purse, or in coat pockets, or on my kitchen counter, or in the car for that matter. And for those I worked with; looking for that invoice or catalog or (fill in the blank) on my desk or in the filing cabinet or on that pile next to the window. And for my girls; "give me just one second, I will be ready as soon as I find that sweater I wore 2 weeks ago, it has to be in this pile of clean/not so dirty clothes somewhere..." And for those who I have had the great pleasure of traveling with; "I know those socks are around here somewhere, oh wait! I left my pillow in the hotel."
Okay, so organization is not my best suit, you have all been witness to it. I am also not the best at grammar(I am working on it!) But when it comes to creating art I am a perfectionist. I create works to the best of my ability which can be debilitating because it doesn't look right from this or that angle, it doesn't express exactly what I want it to. I go back over and over to fix what I see as a problem, or an incorrect communication of ideas. As writing is an art, a communication of ideas, I find myself in the same predicament, even when composing the simplest communication via email or a blog entry. It takes time, and who am I kidding, sometimes I just don't have it in me to be creative, to take the time to express my ideas.
I am sorry I haven't posted as often as I would have liked, I will work on it. I want to share our New York experience with you, so keep checking back and maybe there will be a new post to be read or maybe not!
Actually, your posts haven't been in the least embarrassing to you. You have a natural flair for writing a personal narrative. Besides, a short description often doesn't the trick when you put it with your fabulous photographs.
ReplyDeleteI pointed out a word that you might look at, but remember that I'm an English teacher, a retired one with too much time on her hands.
I love these posts, Kate. When you put them all into a book!!!! which I hope you will, you can add or take out anything that doesn't meet your standards. So far, I'd give you an A. I love this blog.
To write or not to write, to publish or not to publish, to delete the whole damn thing and start over again, or...not. Those are sentiments I get. Notice I didn't update my blog from July through October, and the last one was an update about the fact that I have some updates coming.
ReplyDeleteDon't get down about when you belong, or how often. Just do it. It makes it more fun in the long run.
I love the fact that you are writing the fact that you aren't sure about writing. You are being open, honest, truthful and real; something a lot of people can't say for themselves. I will say it like I've said all along, this way of presenting your journey is not about the art form of writing or really something that needs that perfectionist touch... rather a way to document those experiences that you do day to day that will get lost in the next adventures of the day to day. For me it's the fact that Harper woke Liv in the morning by sitting next to her reading her a story. (with the light on) Liv was like "what the hell is going on here" as Harper quietly reads to her. In a few months or years from now I will likely forget that memory if I don't write it down and damn it's too cute not to share with the world wide web:) Point is I say, free write, as if you don't have readers and it's in journal form. Forget the typos... the sentences that go dot dot dot and just let it flow sister. It will become less "task" oriented with less pressure and more about sittin down after a day to Lady Liberty and saying "damn what a day." If people judge then thats on them. Ok, I'm off my soap box. LOVE YA!!!
ReplyDeleteKan